Cats and Monkeys

Written September 15, 2009.

Cat tolerates and tolerates and will tolerate forever unless you're really trying to kill her, but she simply keeps moving on her own path. If you follow, okay. If you keep up, okay. If you get lost and find her again, okay. If you get left behind... okay.

Monkey Human has temper-flares and screeches and flails and goes away and then comes back half an hour or a day later, murring and grooming in apology. All is forgiven, forgotten, and eventually repeated. But the troop stays together. We have to, to survive. No one lives alone and survives.

I have a good bond with Wolf and a lot of canine influences on my development, but I'm not a wolf or a dog. I'm a cat and a monkey, and cat overrides monkey most times.

And there's some liberation when I face facts about myself, frankly, openly, without flinching. I'll leave people simply by virtue of walking my own path. And I won't care. I won't regret it. I won't consider turning back or turning aside or pausing. I just move.

That's unsettling, and freeing, and alienating.

Alien. Yeah, that'd be it. Alien.

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